Problems arise when it’s assumed that men inherently know how to romance, when in reality most men don’t know how to properly date. Overcoming the male ego and rejection is the first step to mastering dating. Even men who get married with a woman they met through social circles, oftentimes they get divorced then have to learn how to date at the age of 45. There are also those who are incels (virgins not by choice) in their late 20’s and early 30’s because they chose to focus on succeeding in business and not learn how to communicate and interact with women properly.
Rejection can be blamed on the man’s insecurities. When men match with a woman they find attractive on Tinder, oftentimes they sabotage themselves by sending terrible and ridiculous messages in an attempt to cover up their insecurities. Rejection, therefore, is not so much the woman’s fault as it is the man’s. The man therefore has the brunt of the control when it comes to rejection. Of course, there can also be factors outside of the man’s control which prevent him from becoming intimate with a woman. The woman’s grandmother may have just died. She may be having an off night. These are just a few examples of instances where rejection is out of the man’s control. Finally, the two of you may just simply not get along, which may also lead to an appropriate rejection.
How rejection is perceived as well as how it should be handled:
“The woman is never saying NO to you, they are saying KNOW, as in they do not know enough about you.”
When a woman tells you “no”, she doesn’t really know you, unless you’ve really pissed her off. She’s not rejecting you based on the person you are. Therefore, rejection ought not to be taken personally. Your job as a man approaching is not to convince the woman to go out with you. Your job is to talk with enough women that are open and receptive to “knowing” you.
There are certain actions you can take to not be rejected:
When dealing with rejection, you have to ask yourself: Is there anything I can do about that today, to make her not want to reject me? Whether it be your hygiene, your social skills, your attitude, your confidence, your mindset, or your own personal body image. Develop a plan to start working on that. No one else controls your perspective of the world, besides yourself. Once you get that perfect body, you develop those social skills. You are STILL going to get rejected. That is okay, you are supposed to get rejected. Without rejection you would possess no satisfaction when met the woman you truly desired. In the long run rejection will allow you to appreciate a wholesome woman in your life. Rejection allows you to get better and stronger. It forces you to look at the things that are wrong and what you can do to be a better man.
If you’re approaching a woman in person it’s important to understand what she is doing and what’s the best way to engage her. If you’re authentic and genuine with your approach you’re not going to piss off or freak out any women. You looming over her and staring at her trying to get the confidence to talk to her is not going to make you more attractive. The over all feel to not get rejected in person is to not be creepy and if you want to say hello. Don’t hesitate, go and do it. Introduce yourself and understand that you carry the burden of the conversation until she invests into you.
Be authentic with how you are feeling. A woman will appreciate you coming over to her and saying “Hi, My name is X, I was nervous to come and talk to you, but I wanted to say hello”. If you can start learning to communicate like a real and genuine person.
If she’s slightly interested in you, she will help keep the conversation going. You will see the her face light up, because for the first time a man has presented himself in a confident yet vulnerable manor. It’s okay to be vulnerable but show your intentions of wanting to meet her. Understand still, you are going to be rejected and by just committing yourself to go and say hello to that girl, you are already doing what 90% of men wont do, especially during the day. If you decide to get better, you will get better at talking to women and be able to be that charming and charisma person, but initially it is best to just be congruent and honest with where you are in your journey.
Here’s a needy scenario: “Hey, you are hot” ::two hours later:: “Hi” ::15 minutes later::, “helllloooo”, ::3 hours later:: “Why the Fuck are you ignoring me” ::10 minutes later:: “You’re ugly, bye” ::the next day:: “Hey, whats up?::, etc.
You’re not giving any value to the interaction, you’re being reactive and you are doing nothing to differentiate yourself from the crowd. A fair amount of the times she’s busy and doesn’t really want to talk at the moment. As soon as you reveal your undying need to talk to her, she devalues the interaction and puts you in a box that is nowhere near her nether region. From her perspective, you turned into a bi-polar baby that is throwing a fit, with an inability to hold any sort of thought provoking conversation. It’s neither attractive nor desirable. Being persistent is engaging the conversation in a fun and intriguing way.
The moment you start getting all upset and reactive, you’ve set yourself up for rejection. You’ve shown that you cannot conduct yourself in a manor that doesn’t resemble a infant, crying to get your way. Not being reactive also allows you to come from a place of abundance because you’ve not burned all your bridges. When you show that you’re interested, but have no desire to beg for her attention, you enable attraction to form. You don’t have to force anything or trick the woman. When you can play it cool and still be light hearted it puts stock in you that makes you different than the other men pursuing her. You understand that you can have meaningful conversations with other women and you can now pick and choose who you want to spend your time with. When you understand this concept it makes rejection near obsolete.
Conclusion: Mastering rejection means overcoming the male ego. Rejection is natural, healthy and ought to be expected. Be authentic when approaching a woman and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Stay stoic, and don’t get emotional. Success with women is possible, as long as you take the necessary steps in the right direction.